A bad day...

What I am finding at the moment is that I am the "go-to" person for all of those around me when right now, what I really need is for someone to wrap me up in their arms and make ME feel better. Actually, I'm generally the "go-to" person, but generally I am good at it. Today, I am not good at it.

I want to be a good friend, good Mum, good colleague, good manager, good employee, good daughter, good sister... etc etc etc. But honestly, I just don't have the energy for all of it right now.

I'd settle, at this point in time, to have the good Mum bit wrapped up, but I'm not sure I even have that. I thought, when I decided that separating from H's Father was the right thing to do, that aforementioned Father would be a grown up, that he would accept that having a child meant remaining amicable and friendly, to a point. I was mistaken.

Where I am now? I am a single Mother who has her two year old son every other night, that's right, H alternates between me and his Father - is this wise, who knows? If only someone would write the rules on how to be a good single parent eh? So, not only am I a single Mother, I also have a full time job - and a pretty damn good one at that. Add into the mix a slightly deranged ginger Poodle, a number of relatively mental friends, a mild obsession with going to the gym and losing the "baby" weight, and a couple of guys that, quite honestly, are both turning out to be a waste of time and that leaves me exactly where I am now - too busy to have any real energy or enthusiasm to do any of it well.

On the plus side, H just woke up and got out of bed. It meant I got to go and cuddle him to sleep all over again.