Time...

I went on another date this evening with Guy Number 2.

It's fair to say that my opinion of him is improving constantly, he's a really great guy, fun, funny and very good looking...not just "nice" after all. He teases me, winds me up, has fun with me..these are all important things for me.

I left his house late this evening, with the usual goodnight kiss etc - but as usual that was as far as it went. We have been seeing each other since early - mid March, so around 6 weeks I guess, although it feels like longer. I feel like we should have done more than exchange the odd kiss?

As I left his house tonight, I couldn't help but wonder: How long is too long to wait?

I feel almost as though we might be missing our window, that before long we will hit the friends category, firmly and absolutely friends and I'm sure that's not what I want. Why is it that I don't feel like I can take things any further at this point in time? I've never had a problem in the past moving things firmly past the friends category.

Is it that I am just too screwed up over my own self image? Or is it that I'm still just screwed up over another guy? And why is he not pushing for more?

We haven't had the "chat", you know the one where you decide what you are doing, if you are seeing each other, if it's exclusive, etc etc and for me, I guess it's just that I don't want to just have sex with a guy. I want it to mean something. I think because I have been hurt recently by a guy who was simply after a bit of fun, a good time before he settled down with his long-term girlfriend etc, I really want to know this time that I am not making a mistake.

Sex is a big deal to me, I don't enter into it lightly and I usually have to care about someone before I will walk down that path with them. It's fair to say that hasn't always been my mindset, I've done the casual sex thing in the past, usually with a crappy outcome, I've done it a fair bit and I don't want to do that anymore. Besides, sex always complicates things doesn't it?

What I like about this thing with Guy Number 2 is that we're just both really chilled out and relaxed about it, there's no need to label it, no need to pick an option with regards to what we want to do, we're both just seeing how it goes, without saying that we'll just see how it goes. That makes a refreshing change.

On the plus side, damn it was a good goodnight kiss.